Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Sunshine & Shadows

So, I'm going to give this "blogging" thing another shot. Nan & Kim you inspire me!! :)

I'm calling this post "Sunshine & Shadows," because I've gained a greater appreciation for both recently!

I've always loved the sunshine -- the light, the warmth, the way it sparkles on water and can make everything -- even dust dancing in it-- pretty! But lately I've found myself wanting to just stay OUT of the sunlight -- away from people and noise - wanting to basically hide!

I was getting a bit concerned until a thought came into my head -- a memory, actually. I was helping Kam rake hay two years ago. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze -- an absolutely gorgeous day! After about two hours of that "gorgeous" sunlight, though, I was hot enough to be getting a headache. We got to a stopping point and got off the tractors to take a break in the shade, in the SHADOWS of some trees!! It was a temporary stop, but it was definitely a necessary one. After a short break, my headache was gone and we went back to work and finished the job.

I honestly do believe our trials, our struggles, make us stronger. I believe they sort of "smooth the edges" and strengthen the weak spots -- if we let them. But, to be honest, there have been a few times this year when I've felt my edges were so "smoothed", I should be a marble!!!

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel "picked on" by Heavenly Father -- anything but! I KNOW I'm blessed. I see so many blessings around me everyday, and I am truly grateful. Sometimes, though, those struggles that in the end will make me who I'm actually supposed to be - the daughter of God that HE sees - those struggles sometimes get heavy. That's when I tend to hide. I'm beginning to realize that's okay - IN MODERATION!! Those are my "shadow" days, and I will use them on occasion.

So if I don't answer the phone some days, try texting, or emailing so I can be more passively involved. If I don't respond to those - give me a day or so. On those "shadow days" my resources will be almost exclusively available to my husband and my sons. But I will eventually get in touch - I promise!!

Rest assured, those "shadow days" will be just a temporary stop. I'll us them to process, to regroup, to "apply sunscreen," if you will, so I'll be better prepared to step back out into the sunshine that is my life - my wonderful, beautiful life!

2 comments:

irvy said...

I love you, sunshine or shadows. Hugs to you.

Merrianne said...

you are so inspirational Carol!i i just love you!